Always keep your word

Anyone else struggle when you try so hard to do things an it seems like everything you are trying never goes to plan.

For months, I have been trying so hard to get connected, to start changing my daily life routine. I have tried to meet new people by meeting up for coffee or planned to have lunch with someone, even offering my time helping out at certain things but it’s like the people always forget about me (I have even tried to text them a reminder saying looking forward to tomorrow) it doesn’t matter what I’ve tried, they just never get back to me. I am told I will be emailed the information but it never happens even when I remind them I just seem to get passed on or told something new.

What is wrong with me!!

How are we supposed to get connected if the people don’t want to connect?? I have never been in this situation before but it seems these past few years it’s become my norm and I DISLIKE it A LOT.

I’ve learned I don’t ever want to be known for false promises an not follow through. The saying is so true that actions speak louder than words and I can honesty say that I think I’m ready to take it as my motto. Not to get my hopes up or believe people so quickly. Where if they surprise me and follow through great! If they don’t, it won’t matter because I didn’t get my hopes up.

How am I supposed to get connected and not be isolated all the time. It’s awful when you have the thought ‘if anything happened to me, who would I call?’ Honest answer. I literally have no one An that’s really hard to admit.

I had such a different vision of what my life was going to be like, but it seems that’s the loneliness has followed me. Trying to get connected to churches in my area, I get the big ‘Hello, Welcome’ but that’s as far as it goes. When I go to things an try to start conversations they give one word answers then walk off an talk to the people they do know. I try to get involved in things but never hear word back. I sit by myself. I even stay at the end of church and have tea believing someone will see me and want to talk to me. It’s so disheartening it’s getting to the stage where I’m done.

Church should feel like home. It doesn’t need to be this hard. I’m done with the big hellos and happy welcome and then once your in the doors your a nobody.

Sorry this is abit down but I am trying so hard, an continue to get knocked back time and time again. What am I doing wrong!

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Life is hard

Today has been one of those days, where nothing seems to go right, plans you made don’t go the way they should’ve.

Today I was to go into town early, I didn’t wake up when my alarm went off, then it rained a little and then I went into town forgot my bank card, had to come home and not getting the things I needed.

Then I decided to do some washing and my washing machine has swallowed a pillow case (I kid you not!) I searched my whole apartment looked everywhere an flipping my bedding inside out numerous time to try and come across it and is nowhere to be found.

I then decided to try vegetable samosa’s and I really didn’t like them, An bought a toffee cheesecake for dessert and couldn’t eat that either 🙈😳 WHAT OS GOING ON WITH THIS DAY🤷🏻‍♀️

Then if that wasn’t enough I was excited to watch a new series and when it was about to start I realised i wasn’t able to watch it. I cried because today has been one of those days where nothing has gone to plan and I went to bed last night with lots of plans for this day and it all very quickly went to a mess!

BUT after all that today I’ve just spent time before I go to sleep being proud of myself for trying those new things today, that even when the first 2 things didn’t go to plan I didn’t give up I still tried to do all the other things regardless of the previous mess ups and mistakes.

Some times days are just HARD, An you feel like nothing is going your way. What I have realised today is that it’s just 1 day, this hard day is just 1day out of this week.

Yesterday was a good day, An today was not great… TOMORROW is a new day! An I am hoping it’s a far better day than I’ve had this week! So no matter what day you’ve had today, YOU MADE IT!! An tomorrow is another day so don’t quit! Keep going, your doing a Great job!

Be YOU

In a world where we are pressured to look a certain way, be a certain size, when aging gracefully has become filled, nipped and tucked. It’s so important to BE YOU! Whatever that looks like.

There is no one like you, your a limited addition! Show the world who you really are.

Don’t compare yourself to anyone, don’t change who you are to fit in, forgive and be free.

It’s so sad to see so many people in the world and also to see it now creeping into the Christian sector, the ages of young and old where they don’t feel comfortable to be themselves, their lips are filled, they’re face has had Botox an face lifts here and there. Now I’m not judging and I’m not criticising it’s just for me personally all these things are NOT necessary for anyone. I look forward to my years of ageing and I am happy with how I look (plus too all that stuff would HURT!😂)

I feel in this day and age it’s so important for our next generation to have people who are Real, who are confident in themselves, who are free to be themselves whatever that looks like. People who know WHO they are! An know WHO God is.

I want people when they get around me to be free to be themselves! To be comfortable, that they’re allowed to be real. I want them to meet Jesus when they are around me. An also when they leave that they feel encouraged, uplifted and better than they were before they came.

Don’t waste time comparing yourself . Don’t waste time trying to get to the next destination. Enjoy where you are at, stay in the present and make the most of each and everyday you have been given. The world needs the REAL you! You are unique and very special. Not because of what you have or what you’ve achieved but you are these thing just by being YOU!

Allow yourself to shine, don’t let anyone dull your sparkle or take away your joy or smile. You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for!

Make each day count! And let your true self shine!

Your beauty is hidden, until your ready to be revealed

I love flower because they speak A LOT about the nature and goodness of God. Firstly God made flowers so stunningly ‘just because’ so we could enjoy and watch their beauty unfold.

It makes me think just as flower grow their buds are closed and then over the next few days they begin to prepare to be ready to bloom, and their real beauty is exposed and revealed to us, they are stunning! And beautifully designed the exact way God wanted them to look.

It’s the same with us, God will give us seasons of being hidden. We are the bud’s if you like and God then teaches us things, shows us things, and prepares us for the next season He has planned for us. Then at just the right time we are revealed, our growth is exposed and the people around us with see that things are different.

I find myself reminding myself of this regularly. When times are tough, when I don’t understand what is happening or why things are the way they are. I choose to Trust and stay standing, believing that He does know the plans He has for me and I am never alone He is right there with me each and every step of the way!

I want to do my journey of life WELL in all seasons and situations, I want to be known as someone who stands firm when struggles arise. I want to be unshaken and unmoved continually trusting, looking to HIM because He is my strength.

Whatever stage you find yourself in maybe you’ve been a bud for a while and it doesn’t looking like your getting ready to bloom.. keep going the day will come when you see things changing, when you see a new beginning and you will reach the time when your ready to bloom. And how beautiful that will be🙌🙌

God never does things in our timing BUT His timing is PERFECT! He knows what He is doing, He is moulding and shaping you for the day your ready to bloom.

And every time your in a rough season, think of the beauty of the flower KNOWING you are worth way more than a flower to God! Knowing that each time you get through a tough season (you will make it through) it means the next time a tough season comes you have already started a track record, you made it through a tough time before, therefore you CAN and WILL make it through the next one knowing that each time it’s strengthening you! Building perseverance, strength, kindness, peace, trust, endurance etc in you! NOTHING IS WASTED.

So my lovely flower KEEP GOING, keep doing what your doing, DON’T QUIT! Soon you will bloom and be your beautiful self! You have got this!

Changing your routine JUST BECAUSE

It’s OK to switch up your normal routine….. JUST BECAUSE!

I’ve always been a person who cleans up as she goes, when I cook a meal I’ve all the dishes washed and draining before I sit down to eat my meal. Then as soon as I’m finished my dinner I dry all my dishes an put them away then wash and dry my plate, knife and fork

But tonight I decided I’m not doing it that way. I’m not tired, I’m not too busy, I’m not out of sorts I’ve did it JUST BECAUSE.

I have currently just finished my stir fry cooking asparagus and long broccoli for the first time ever! And I am still sitting down. Knowing the dishes are piled up in the sink and the hobs need wiped down and the extra put in a box…. BUT ITS OK

I’m enjoying it an when I decide to move then that will be when I go and do ALL the dishes, dry them and put them away. Doing this every single day isn’t for me BUT IT IS OK! if you decide to do something completely different JUST BECAUSE it’s your choice. No need to justify, no need to condemn yourself. ITS ALL TOTALLY OK😁

#havingachange #tuesdayCHOOSEDAY #itsok #youhavechoice #ownit

Tough Times don’t last, tough people do.

This quote today got me thinking. First of all, I found it really refreshing to see something like that reminding us the truth Life isn’t always wonderful.

Life is hard, things happen that we weren’t prepared for or never expected. Life is a hard road sometimes BUT I feel from this quote the importance of KNOWING who you really are In Christ over, so that no matter the situation or circumstance your equipped in Him to go through

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For me being a Christian, I know it’s so important to be defined by Who God says I am and not by anything else (people/world/situation etc). It’s so important for me to daily remind myself who I am In Him. Over the years I have had things happen to me that I could’ve easily became where my identity was in that if that makes sense a victim to be known for this and that. But I decided a lot of of years ago that no matter what I will go by who HE says I am. It has been a complete game changer.

But it is ok to acknowledge that life at times isn’t wonderful and to know how you feel about certain things BUT I do believe we can always walk in God’s truths over any emotions when we are weak He is strong, we can ask Him to strengthen us so that we can do what we need to do.

A lot of people get stuck and become the victim An their identity comes from what happened to them. It’s really sad! They are more than their situation/circumstance. I never want to be a victim ever. Because I trust, believe and know God is bigger than anything I’ll ever face, and He is with me each and every step of the way and is for you too!

Know how you feel

This has been what I’ve needed today, I am profoundly deaf and it is hard! I Feel out of my depth when I’m out in public, when I try to follow a conversation while in a cafe, because there is lots of noise around, when I look around at times it seems for everyone else is so easy. Is not how it is for me. I always get sinus infections, ear ache because I have Eustachian tube dysfunction, feeling like I was underwater was a normal feeling for me growing up and still is.

I never realised I couldn’t hear properly, i knew there was something not right because there is a lot of things I couldn’t do growing up, jumping into water hurt like crazy, flying the pressure would be so intense at times, people closing a car boot effected my ears, can’t get water in my ears at all because it causes infections every-time. Also can’t pop my own ears while on a flight because the pressure is insane an feels like my ear drums are going to explode when I try to pop them so I have to just wait for them to pop on their own (NOT FUN!). This is just naming just a few

I always thought there was something wrong with me, I didn’t understand how I couldn’t follow a group conversation when everyone around me was doing fine. For me group events were exhausting an I would get emotional and I never understood why. I honestly just assumed I wasn’t handling it as good as everyone else did.

It wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s I decided to talk about it with a friend asking did she have the same struggles I had always known because I was exhausted an emotional after we went for lunch, I had had enough. She said she didn’t experience what I experienced an asked….have I ever had a hearing test (didn’t even no there was such a thing haha) An that’s when I decided to go and have a hearing test, i then had many many more tests at the hospital and found out I was profoundly deaf. I didn’t really understand what that meant but when I got my hearing aids I was shocked that a light switch made a noise that you could hear. I never knew that! I also didn’t know you could hear a kettle boil I thought the light was the only indicator. So I had a new world opened up for me of little things that became new things.

I still really struggle when I’m out to know what people are saying, i have to read lips (to the best I can). I have to check the roads multiple times before I ever cross. Even going shopping can at times be exhausting or if I have to ask a question… I’m afraid I cannot hear the answer clearly. When I take my hearing aids out I realise how bad my hearing is, at times it’s quite scary, because if I have them out I wouldn’t hear my buzzer in my flat or if there was an emergency I would be unaware. I’m going to look into what is available out there for my own safety.

It’s so hard and at times I feel silly for getting upset. When I’m out it’s those times I realise the difference An the struggles are magnified. Simple tasks take up so much energy it’s weird. So mostly I stay indoors in my own home, where I know everything is and don’t have to struggle to super concentrate on things etc,

For me I have to constantly allow myself to take time to know how I’m feeling, to acknowledge it and not let it all build up and then explode haha! But I am learning the importance of acknowledging how I’m feeling because it matters! More than I ever thought

I prayed for years for my ears to be sorted (whatever was wrong) I didn’t get the answer how I had hoped BUT He did answer! Just not the way I expected. I now have regular hearing tests an might need cochlear implants (I don’t ever want them) so I speak over my ears, God has been with me every step and when I’m alone and having a moment of being upset He is right there with me.

I have now learned when I allow myself to take a moment it really does make a HUGE difference! Because I know where I’m at and how I feel, or how something made me feel and that has been a HUGE blessing! That I never knew would be possible

Know your feelings, acknowledge them, An move forward it’s ok!